Just like starting over

I have been a bit neglectful of blogging of late, and so I am starting with a cleanish slate. The kids have gone back to school and I don't want to be here, but I am here and I am on my own for vast amounts of time every day now so I need to fight the re emergence of my old friend The Black Dog. I'm hoping a blog might help me do that, even if not many people read it. I think I need to just get things out of my head and down in print in some form, and seeing as my lappy and my online friends are becoming a major part of my life maybe I should just turn to blogging and be done with it. Also I like to write, just as I like to chat and I find it very creative so maybe this will be an outlet in more ways than one...

So what's been happening? Well... I had a fab month in the UK with family and friends, especially my really, really good friends in Hastings and then it was back here to this little town just north of Torino and back to reality. Had to get the kids stuff sorted for school, finish the last bits of homework with my son and just really come to terms with being back. I can't decide why I can't make this move work. I've made others in the past work and I am not desperately close to my family or anything. I just find it hard to live here. The language is difficult for a start, also I enjoy English. I always have done and I kind of like to revel in English language. It's fascinating to me. I read a lot and I listen to the radio a lot and it is English I constantly turn to. Not sure it helps that Italian television is infantile and rubbish for the most part... Also the people are difficult. No one has been particularly helpful or welcoming and whilst I do say hello to lots of people, I find that mostly it is tight knit here and if you're not in, then you're not in and there ain't much you can do about it. I therefore spend a lot of time lonely. The funny thing is that I have a so-called friend who lives within view of my house that I hardly ever see, only when she can make room in her busy social life. It is annoying that, I know that. if the roles were reversed and she were to come to the UK with her husband for work, then I would take her everywhere with me and go out of my way to make sure she could do everything she wanted to do and she knew enough to live a meaningful life. This is what annoys me when people here say that us Brits are so reserved. We have nothing on the Piemontese people of North-west Italy let me tell you and I'm sure I'm not unique.

Ah well, I didn't mean things to get so negative so quickly.... hmmmm maybe I needed to get all that off my chest so I can move on with much nicer things.... well I'll keep my fingers crossed anyway!!