Gratitude

Well I did start off negative didn't I!!? I have to admit I had a really bad day both yesterday and today but this evening, after many tears today and a return to my bed this morning I am feeling a lot better. Sometimes all I need is a kind word and not only have my friends, both the virtual ones as well as the ones I know 'in the flesh' so to speak have been good. Also my partner has come up trumps too and has said just the right things to help me stop flapping. Sometimes it's just a bit of common sense that I need along with a hug from the one person who is not always so cuddly except when he knows I really need a hug.

To keep this more positive vibe going I thought I might give you (and myself) a little list of the things that I enjoy about living here and not think about the negative things for a time. I have been walking to the school to collect the kids most afternoons this week and I really must take my camera next week in order to show you some of my fave sights just on my walk to the school!! This place isn't huge and it isn't spectacular but there are little corners of inspiration that I'm sure you will appreciate. Anyway, on with that list!! :

• I love the fact that we are doing something different. Even down to not living in a big city, or a Tuscan picturesque cittá or a place by the sea. This is a small town where there are hardly any foreigners and you would never find a tourist.
• my kids both speak Italian and have been able to experience a whole new culture.
• I live less than an hour from the city of Torino. The architecture is amazing for a start and I need to go and explore more. It is a huge, untapped resource.
• I live less than an hour from the Alps. What more can be said. I love mountains!! I especially like walking in them in the summer but I can also see them from my house and at the moment there are the first signs of snow on the highest peaks. So prrrreeeeettttttyyyy!!

Ok, so that's all I can think of right now, but it's a start isn't it!??! Hopefully I will be able to think of more as I get further out of this horrible rut I have gotten myself into!!

Just like starting over

I have been a bit neglectful of blogging of late, and so I am starting with a cleanish slate. The kids have gone back to school and I don't want to be here, but I am here and I am on my own for vast amounts of time every day now so I need to fight the re emergence of my old friend The Black Dog. I'm hoping a blog might help me do that, even if not many people read it. I think I need to just get things out of my head and down in print in some form, and seeing as my lappy and my online friends are becoming a major part of my life maybe I should just turn to blogging and be done with it. Also I like to write, just as I like to chat and I find it very creative so maybe this will be an outlet in more ways than one...

So what's been happening? Well... I had a fab month in the UK with family and friends, especially my really, really good friends in Hastings and then it was back here to this little town just north of Torino and back to reality. Had to get the kids stuff sorted for school, finish the last bits of homework with my son and just really come to terms with being back. I can't decide why I can't make this move work. I've made others in the past work and I am not desperately close to my family or anything. I just find it hard to live here. The language is difficult for a start, also I enjoy English. I always have done and I kind of like to revel in English language. It's fascinating to me. I read a lot and I listen to the radio a lot and it is English I constantly turn to. Not sure it helps that Italian television is infantile and rubbish for the most part... Also the people are difficult. No one has been particularly helpful or welcoming and whilst I do say hello to lots of people, I find that mostly it is tight knit here and if you're not in, then you're not in and there ain't much you can do about it. I therefore spend a lot of time lonely. The funny thing is that I have a so-called friend who lives within view of my house that I hardly ever see, only when she can make room in her busy social life. It is annoying that, I know that. if the roles were reversed and she were to come to the UK with her husband for work, then I would take her everywhere with me and go out of my way to make sure she could do everything she wanted to do and she knew enough to live a meaningful life. This is what annoys me when people here say that us Brits are so reserved. We have nothing on the Piemontese people of North-west Italy let me tell you and I'm sure I'm not unique.

Ah well, I didn't mean things to get so negative so quickly.... hmmmm maybe I needed to get all that off my chest so I can move on with much nicer things.... well I'll keep my fingers crossed anyway!!